Awakening Moments

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Awakening Moments

Awakening Moments
by Heather Fraser

Some telltale signs of awakening for me have been that life is no longer that gripping or dramatic or desperate or meaningful. Yes...I actually said meaningful. Life just is. Does a sunset, a starlit sky, a dew soaked rose, my daughter's face, a passing cloud, a bolt of lightening, a warm embrace, my bank balance, your bank balance, the car I drive, the car you drive, the clothes I wear, the clothes you wear — is any part of existence truly meaningful — or in reality, is it all just a bunch of experiences we get to observe matter of factly without judgement or emotional highs and lows? What do I really see and feel when I simply observe life in this way, without the overlay of past conditioning, without the lens of the 3D world drama?

I see Beauty, and I feel Reverence. I see the Sacred, and I feel a quiet, inner Joy. By all of it, I am humbled to my knees at times. To witness and feel existence as it truly is, is to be awake.

I humbly admit that I am not fully awake yet. I am awakening, as are probably most of you reading this. I still have my moments of fear, grief, and anger, but I don't think Awakening is about never having these feelings again. I think it's about feeling them fully and allowing them to move through us. Whoosh! In a moment of total presence and awareness, it moves through us like a hot, holy, purifying wind, and is gone...till next time.

The thing about awakening that most people get confused about is that they think their life will all of a sudden become a magical utopia — that riches will fall from the heavens, that relationships will soar with ecstasy, or that finally...finally...all their problems will vanish into thin air forever. I hate to burst your bubble, but...

My experience has been that not so much changes on the outside. At least not right away.

More often than not, it is the pain and struggle, the bad relationships, the money worries, that eventually lead us to give beg for pray to be shown another
way. This is the beginning of awakening.

When we are rubbed raw, peeled back to the bone, all wounds open, bleeding, and shamelessly on display at the feet of is here, and only here, that we begin to wake up.

Is it any wonder that so few heed the call? But here's the thing though...

Surrender equals freedom. Freedom from a mind full of constant, exhausting, endless, obsessive fear. Fear of poverty, fear that we won't be loved, fear of loneliness, fear of dying. Fear, fear, will go on forever, entire wasted lifetimes, unless we decide to let it all go.

Can you imagine what that feels really let go? Can you imagine your own Divinity? Can you?

Take a huge, deep breath. It feels like that. It feels like relief, it feels spacious, it feels like expansion, warmth, and exquisite beauty. It feels like the real you, like you no longer have
to hide away any part of yourself. It feels like the silent joy of the sun rising in the morning, or the moonlight caressing the darkness into light. It feels that simple, that soft, that gentle, that natural. No explosions, no fanfare, no glitter, no splashy lights.

All that caused you to feel fear is still in your life, except you don't feel the fear anymore. Something inside has changed. What has changed? You chose Love. You made room for Love.

It was there all along. Stay with it...stay with not give into fear. Be courageous, no matter what. A physical, human life is the path of the Hero. This Love is more powerful than anything we could ever imagine. Let's awaken...let's awaken to it.

Let it rule our moments now...let it soften us...let it melt our minds into our hearts, let it dissolve all darkness with its light, let it show us who we really are. Let's let Love love us.

It is so simple, and yet it's not.

So often we feel like Love has abandoned us, yet that is impossible. It is we who have abandoned Love. We do it every time we feel fear, react with anger or hostility, blame someone else for our problems, feel like a victim, punish, judge, or reject ourselves or
another, or try and defend our position on something.

Love is always right there, behind the door of all this nonsense and wasted time. It is right there waiting ever so patiently for us to realize that we've lost our connection to our Source, to the wellspring of the very existence of Life.

Awakening is about being both soft (with self forgiveness) and vigilant (with uncompromising discipline) in noticing when we have chosen to feel something other than Love.

A lot of the time, I know, it doesn't even feel like a choice. It just feels like an automatic reaction. But that automatic reaction simply proves how far removed we have become from our much we were taught to identify with everything and anything external.

Love is an inside job.

How willing are you to let go of the you you think you are?

It feels scary because we feel like we no longer have an identity.

It feels like we are nothing.

We have nothing to hold onto anymore.

Our world no longer makes any sense.

We feel like we are losing our mind. We are! At least the one that was programmed with illusion and fear.

This is ground zero. This is going back to Source. This is what it must feel like when we experience physical death.

Why wait until then to be free?

Why miss the exquisite beauty of our entire life just because we are afraid to trust Love and let go?

Let go. Don't waste another minute living outside your heart.

Love is right there waiting for us to let it in.

Here's all you have to do...every time you feel anything other than Love, simply ask that you be connected back to your Source, take a deep, nourishing breath, genuinely thank whoever or whatever has pushed your buttons, then let go and let Love in.

Do it every time. You may have to do it a zillion times a day at first.

Who cares? Just do it. Take responsibility.

Change your energy. Change the world.

Earlier this evening I watched the huge, saffron sun set behind the hills. I felt the hot, humid air still itself on my skin.

I am awake.

At the lake today, I heard the water gently lapping against massive rock, I watched baby ducks wiggle their little backsides to catch up with Mom, four swans glided by in silence, a red and black butterfly fanned it's wings next to me, the branches and leaves of the
weeping willow I sat under danced in the blessedly cool breeze, and my soul in wonder, bowed down to the beauty.

I am awake.

I was cooking dinner the other day and badly burned my forearm. In the melting off, then cold water cooling, then ginger juice healing, then life force throbbing.

I am awake.

Moments. That's all we ever have.

That's what life is. No future...just NOW.

When we wake up from the nightmare of past and future, real life begins.

Love lives here. Miracles live here. Beauty lives here.

All of it becomes Love, Miraculous, and Beautiful. Even a nasty burn, because it was a moment of life lived fully in present moment awareness. I didn't miss a thing!

This is the bumper sticker we want to have plastered over our hearts when our time is up.

"I didn't miss a thing!"

What exactly is an unlived life?

It's a life ruled by fear, security, and the known. It's a life ruled by the ego mind, always someplace else but Here and Now, and entirely loveless.

Love is present moment awareness, regardless of what is placed before you.

There is such relief in experiencing this Truth, because there is nothing to think about.

There is only Life to live, and Love to feel.

Can you hear the gentle whispers calling you out of a deep and drowsy sleep?

"It's time to wake up, it's time to wake up. Love awaits you."

Seasons come and go. The sun rises and sets. The moon waxes and wanes. The ocean tides move in and out. Birth happens and so does death. The sky is always there.

When have these miracles ever not been so?

What is the invisible, unchanging wisdom that keeps this eternal cycle and circle of life in motion?

It is Love.

What is the invisible, unchanging wisdom that started your heart beating, that grew you from a baby to a youngster to a teenager to an adult?

What is the invisible, unchanging wisdom that makes your breath move in and out, your eyes blink, your fingers wiggle, your mouth smile, your tears to fall, your tongue to taste, your heart to feel?

What is the invisible, unchanging wisdom that is YOU, that death can never erase, the you that has always been you, that will forevermore be you, just as the seasons come and go, just as the sun rises and sets, just as the moon waxes and wanes, just as the ocean tides move in
and out, just as birth and death continues to happen, just as the sky is always there?

It is Love.

Whatever happens between birth and death is for your growth and expansion as a soul.

The trick is not to identify with all the in between stuff, all the labels or hardships or memories or happiness's.

The purpose of all the in between stuff is to move us towards identifying with and embodying the truth of who we are, and then never losing sight of that no matter what.

Stop striving and seeking to find happiness externally. You will never find it that way.

Instead, know who you are. Live from that place inside.

There's nothing to be found. Call the search off, and simply let go. It's been right there with you all the time. You are surrounded by it, and everything is IT.

We are Love. It's all Love. It's always been about Love.

When this becomes apparent to us at an experiential level of knowing, it leads to surrender... then we are free.

This is called Awakening.

I just watched a seagull glide by my window in the early morning sunlight. It looked aglow with a warm, orangey shimmer.

How do I explain the joy that fills me up at witnessing this tiny moment?

When we are awake or awakening, we experience this quiet euphoria more and more, and often for no reason whatsoever.

From what I've observed about my own awakening, this quiet joy comes rushing in whenever I've made a conscious choice to let not have the slightest resistance in my energy field.

Resistance is always caused by the mind, by some thought we are having that is all about anger, resentment, mistrust, fear, blah, blah, blah.

This is a mind still living in duality. This is a mind still believing there is an opposite to Love.

Awakening is about realizing there is no opposite to Love, and when we've had enough of the exhausting roller coaster ride, the ups and downs between Love and fear, we finally wise up and "get" that we can choose to ride it differently.

No white knuckles. No clenched fists. No hysterical screaming. No fear. No resistance.

More like an open lotus flower on the surface of a muddy pond.

The joyful shock comes only from life's stunning, simple grace and the beauty of pure Being.

Personally, I'm into the Love Train, but maybe that's a midlife thing. Nice and easy with a calming, sort of rhythmical, gentle motion to it. Kinda like a heartbeat. Soothing and miraculous.

A true moment of awareness can only be experienced by an unresisting mind that is open and flowing in pure Being.

Awakening is about noticing where and when we have unconsciously shut out the ever-present beauty and joy of life. It's about waking up and becoming conscious and then choosing to remain so.

Jump on the Love Train, or stay on the roller coaster (as long as you can ride it without resistance!)

It's so much easier, joyful, and beautiful to just let go and flow with what is, and the life we happen to be living in the moment.

It's early morning as I write this. The birds are joyfully singing, and the sun is bathing the treetops with the most exquisite amber light. Fresh morning air after the rain is flowing in my window, and I breathe in the beauty.

I give thanks for this quiet and sacred start to my day that I could have easily chosen to miss out on.

I could have stayed in bed a little longer, I could have rolled over and gone back to sleep, I could have picked up a book and read, I could have let the thoughts in my mind take over and take me out of the moment.


They are always ours to make, and it is our choices that ultimately determine the quality of our present moments.

Part of awakening is becoming aware of the fact that we get to choose the kind of moments we want to experience, and that our life choices are always up to us.

So many of my own life choices have been made as a testimony to my unwavering commitment to walk in this world based on what I know to be true in my heart — that oneness, unity, grace, simplicity, love, respect for nature, and devotion to Spirit and my own Soul's evolution, are the ways to living in balance and harmony within myself.

Gone are the days where I would always feel like I was prostituting my soul just to fit in with the rest of the world.

It has not been an easy walk, to say the least, and often the choices I made were painful.

That's part of waking up. We begin to see where we allowed the beauty of our soul to be compromised by what we were taught by the mass hypnosis of social conditioning.

When I choose to watch the morning sunlight bathing the trees with all of it's Love, I say to myself, "yes...yes...this is what I came here for...this is my reason for Being — to remember the beauty of my soul and witness it in all things."

The hard part is in trusting that our soul's inner promptings and longings are indeed the way of the new world, and not to resist this incredible source of intelligence. It is only hard because we have been so ingrained and trained to believe otherwise.

Life is meant to be beautiful, simplistic, and driven by Love.

Choose that. Trust that. Trust nothing else.

This is what awakening teaches us.

Everything boils down to one one one One Love.

Perhaps that's what this heat-wave we've been having most of the summer is trying to's trying to burn up and boil down all that no longer serves us...all that we still continue to deny, hide, reject, or feel shame about.

One Love, or Oneness, has no opposite, so anything we are still holding onto that doesn't feel like Love, or Unity, or Peace, or Well-Being, or Kindness is simply a wake up call for radical
Self-Acceptance of all that we would never, ever invite into the light of day to sit with us and be unashamedly exposed and lovingly introduced to All That Is.

You see, All That Is, or Oneness, is you. So who are you really hiding from? It's really not possible to hide anything, but it is possible to cut ourselves off from this benevolent state of Grace by carrying around the constricting vibration of shame, fear, judgement, resentment, or non-acceptance which causes that very real sense or feeling of separation from our Source.

Awakening is about surrendering, accepting, and allowing all of who we are to be gently enfolded back into One Love, back into the truth of our very existence.

Can you feel the relief of that letting go, the relief of that constricted energy opening up, the relief of your beautiful heart being emptied out of all that was holding you back from who you've always known yourself to be? No more hiding. No more shame. Just pure acceptance of it all, of all of who you are, and the utter pure peace and inner stillness that comes with the eternal memory of feeling whole and loved once again.

And the still, small voice whispered, "Welcome home. Welcome home to Love."

...and the still, small voice whispered, "breathe...just breathe."

I don't know about you, but lately, these days been gruelling. Fear, fear, fear is on board loud and clear, and I am failing miserably if this is some sort of cosmic test.

My astrology friends tell me it's the Cardinal T-Square, or the Triple Grand Cross, or the fact that Pluto is in Capricorn (my sun sign), or it's the full moon. Perhaps those things are true. Perhaps they are accelerating this whole awakening process, but I have no idea
about these things.

Whatever's going on, it feels like fear is definitely being pushed to the surface for purging. I've been waking up in the mornings with a sense of dread in my stomach...a certain uneasiness that doesn't seem to go away until after I go for a walk in nature and feel the beauty of Mother Earth embracing me. Even then, I find that uneasy feeling creeping back in, and it takes just about all that I've got to simply let go, surrender, and accept that this is what I am feeling.

I admit it; I'm not very good at letting go to fear. Who wants to feel that? I'm not even sure if what I'm feeling is my own buried fears or that of mass consciousness. Probably both. When I take a look at what's been going on for me, I can see that the usual financial and relationship fears have been triggered once again, the two fears my little ego loves to feed off of.

It's all so silly really. It's all just old...very old and very stale programming, and I'm guessing that this week Spirit decided to stir up whatever remaining bullshit I had still buried and so well hidden beneath the surface.

There was just no getting around this one. No amount of talking myself into love or beauty worked. I simply had to spend a week in apathy and paralysis, ('cause that's what fear does) and feel the dread and desperation in order to purge it.

It's all a bunch of layers. Layers and layers of illusion. And when the time is right, another layer gets peeled back, sometimes several layers at once — ouch! — and we don't get much say in the matter.

Unfortunately and fortunately, this is what awakening does. It wakes us up. It has no mercy or judgement. When the Light switch goes on, nothing can remain hidden in the darkness, and in the Light of that kind of Love, all we can do is let go, feel, and remember to breathe.

I humbly and imperfectly continue to awaken to the ever-present mystery of pure Being.

And so It Is...exactly as It Is.

If you are reading this, I'd venture to guess that there is something going on in your life at the moment that is rocking your world and shaking you awake.

As the song goes..."don't worry, be happy."

At this moment, as I look out my window, there is a beautiful morning mist hanging over the trees. Everything looks and feels quite ethereal, as though I'm looking through the finest veil.

Such beauty and truth in the symbolism...the veil of illusion.

Whatever is going on for you in your world that you are not exactly enjoying right now, see if you can pierce through that veil of illusion by finding the beauty within it.

We are being challenged (individually and as a collective consciousness) to break free of the chains of the past that bind dissolve from caterpillar into chrysalis and emerge as the emerge into freedom.

Most of us are in the process of losing our identity, losing our egos...dissolving into something else...dissolving into Love, but if we don't "get" that this is what's happening, then we freak out and fall into fear.

Others of us are silently and patiently cocooned in our transformational chamber, having already dissolved into the unknown mystery and are simply waiting for the rebirth.

And many others are on the verge or in the process of being birthed into the grandest version of themselves that they've ever imagined.

We are all at different stages of this grand evolutionary transformation, and all of these stages can and will feel frightening if we don't know what's going on or if we don't let go into the process.
It is happening to every one of us whether we want it to or not. What could be more incredible or more beautiful than being transformed into our own true nature, which ultimately is Love and Freedom, and then living in accordance with it? Can you imagine that world?

That's Heaven on Earth.

Everything is on track with divine perfect timing.

Be glad for awakening, and listen to the voice that is silently singing to you..."don't happy."

Begin where you are, in this NOW moment.

There is no other time.

Love. Trust. Let go.

No one can do that for you.

YOU are the healer of separation.

This is the gift of awakening...

"I am bound by no person, place or thing...I am free...I am free to Love."

As a healer of separation, you have the natural, inborn ability to rise above duality.

It's not some fancy-shmancy gift awarded to only a special few.

Everyone has this ability.

It's called free will.

God, how our ego hates to hear that! Our lazy, comfortable, fearful ego does not want to be responsible for making a choice. That would require change, integrity, energy, discomfort, and most of all...discipline.

This is not food for the ego, and all it wants to do is feed and gorge itself. It feeds on mass media, (both written and visual) personal drama, fear, negative emotions, illness, corruption, power, andsadly, it even feeds off the emotional weaknesses and insecurities of
others, especially in relationships.

Attempt to starve the ego, and you will find yourself and your world falling apart.

Let it.

If you are reading this, your heart already knows there is another way...another world being created, and it can only be created with a mind that is still and a heart that is open.

As a healer of separation, you are finding yourself spending more and more time in nature, more and more time alone, but not lonely, more and more time letting go of painful emotions and old, stale concepts, letting go of living in the past or future, more and more time pursuing
creative urges, more and more time immersed in beauty and silence, more and more time in the peaceful simplicity of Being, more and more time in trust and love, regardless of what may be going on around you, more and more time enjoying natural sounds or moving music, more and more time feeling humbled and grateful, and more and more time contemplating what it would feel like to live in harmony, in a state of unity and joy with other healers of separation.

Welcome to Awakening.

Love is creating this new world. Only Love can live there.

You are not the ego thoughts you were taught to think and that are now being downloaded with ever-greater intensity by the dark side. Do not give in to them. Be Strong. Be Courageous. Be Still. Be Present. Empty your Mind. Own your Pure Heart.

For in the end, Love Conquers All...

I love this little story based on the divinely inspired Gnostic poem called "The Hymn of the Pearl."

Imagine you are a prince or princess. One day your parents, the king and queen, send you on a mission to a distant land. You must find a pearl guarded by a hungry dragon.

You take off your royal robe and leave the kingdom of your parents. You journey to this distant land, putting on dirty clothing and disguising yourself as one of her people.

Somehow the people of this land discover that you are a foreigner. They give you food that makes you forget your royal birth and makes you believe that you are one of them. You sink into a deep sleep.

Your parents see your plight and send you a letter that tells you to awaken. It reminds you of your quest to recover the pearl. You remember who you are, a child of kings. You quickly subdue the dragon, retrieve the pearl and depart, leaving the dirty clothing behind.

When you return to your native land, you see your royal robe, which reminds you of the splendour you lived in before. The garment speaks to you, telling you that it belongs to the one who is stronger than all human beings. You put on your royal robe once more and return to your father's palace.

This is such a wonderful, simple story of awakening.

Have you opened your letter yet? It was sent eons ago.

Who cares how long it has taken to remember your quest.

Act this moment. You have been given free will...why not use it to remember who you are?

Do you really want to continue living in those dirty clothes in a strange land being chased by a dragon?

Being human is the ultimate hero's journey. Gather up all your strength and courage and do not give up. Not ever.

Not until you have subdued that dragon and retrieved that pearl.

This is the journey of our soul. This is our reason for Being.

It's all about the energy we carry inside. Are you vibrating the energy of knowing you are royalty as a child of God?

This is the pearl we must retrieve if we are to experience Heaven on Earth.

It's time to wake up and remember who we are while we still have the precious beauty of life to live…

Copyright 2010 Heather Fraser — You may make copies of these articles and distribute in any media as long as you change nothing, credit the author, and include this
copyright notice and website address.